Culture Shock

Christmas Eve Greetings

2009-12-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

SANTA: Okay everybody. Let’s settle down and focus if we can. I know you’re all busy with the toy building and the present wrapping and the reindeer care …

KRISPIN: Husbandry.

SANTA: Excuse me, what did you say?

KRISPIN: It’s called Reindeer Husbandry. You called it reindeer care, but last year we agreed to call it husbandry.

SANTA: Did we? I thought we were calling your division the “Reindeer Caretaking Team”? At least that’s what I’ve been saying all year.

KRISPIN: That was the year before. We changed it at last year’s retreat. Before that it was "Livestock Nurturance". It's more than just playing games, you know.

SANTA: Okay then. My bad. Ho Ho. Anyhow … we only hold this strategic planning retreat once a year so let’s git ‘er done and we can get on with the Christmas party. Some of you look like you could use a little mulled wine soon. Mrs. Claus will give each of you one drink ticket and a bonus cookie when we wrap up this session. The first drink is on us; after that, it’s a no-host bar this year.

ELVES: [General groaning]

SANTA: Your management team and the Elf Resources Department are hoping that all of you, the single most important asset for our brand, can give us fresh ideas for our new mission statement. I want this little exercise to be participatory. We want the process to ... what's the phrase the consultants used? ... to build community. So just start throwing out your ideas and I’ll write them on this flip chart. Ready?

DINGLE: You forgot to say that no idea is a bad idea. Before we brainstorm, you’re supposed to lay out the ground rules. You’re supposed to tell us that we’re not to judge the ideas while we’re brainstorming …

SANTA: You’re right. My mistake. Let’s move along with that in mind.

DINGLE: Respect too. We’re supposed to respect each other.

SANTA: That’s right. Thank you, young elf.

DINGLE: My name is Dingle and we’re also supposed to respect something else.

FRIBBLE: The Process! We need to respect the Process. And trust it.

SANTA: Okay. First: No idea is a bad idea. Second: We respect each other and the process. Can we get started now?

CHEEVER: What’s the old mission statement? Maybe we should start with that?

SANTA: Does anyone want to recite our mission statement for us? Anyone at all?

GRIMMEL: Something about “We of the North Pole endeavor to maximize holiday cheer and, blah blah blah, effectuate joyous spirits in a posture of goodwill and harmonious tidings?”

CHEEVER: What’s a tiding? Isn’t it supposed to be “gladtidings”? ‘Cause just plain “tidings” doesn’t really make sense to me.

BJORNG: “Husbandry” is a sexist term. I just want to register an objection.

FRIBBLE: Shouldn’t a mission statement be something short and easy to remember? How about this: We bring joy!

DINGLE: That’s a slogan, not a mission statement. This isn’t about marketing, it’s about informing our stakeholders what we do and what are core values are.

FRIBBLE: Whoa, hold on! We’re not supposed to analyze and criticize while we’re brainstorming.

DINGLE: Sorry, but some ideas are just stupid and there’s no point in writing them down. Anyway, if we can’t agree on what a mission statement is, how are we going to write one?

SANTA: Okay now hold on little fellow. Let’s take a step back and start over again. Let’s think about this from a strategic perspective.

GRIMMEL: What does that even mean?

SANTA: What I'm saying is let’s look at the big picture and think outside of the box for a few minutes. What is our purpose? Why are we doing what we do? That’s what we need to communicate.

CHEEVER: I suppose we make shit and you give it all away. Seems pretty simple to me.

SANTA: Yes, yes. But isn’t it more than that?

DRABBO: I know, I know! We make dreams come true for little boys and girls!

DINGLE: Maybe we should say, “We TRY to make dreams come true.” Shouldn’t we be careful about managing expectations. I mean, we can’t make every dream come true. Didn’t Legal have a problem with this a few years back?

CHEEVER: Strive. We strive to make dreams come true. "Strive" sounds better than “try.”

SANTA: Okay, I’m writing that down. Are you all okay with “strive”? Never mind, I’ll write down “strive” and “try” and we can decide later.

FRIBBLE: How about “Operation Strike Back”? There’s a war on Christmas, you know.

DINGLE: May I say again that Fribble’s ideas are incredibly inane and off the point?

GRIMMEL: Can we add something like, “In an atmosphere of personal respect and dignity?”

SANTA: Well that’s a given, isn’t it?

GRIMMEL: You think? You want take a look at these blisters, old man? You want to talk about adjusting our quotas for a minute?

SANTA: Ho ho! Somebody’s going on the naughty list with that attitude.

BJORNG: “Endeavor” sounds even better than “strive.”

DOOLAP: How about this: In a spirit of generosity and in an environment of respect, we implement strategic and sustainable initiatives with the goal of growing a global sense of joy.

FREEBAG: I like it! Can we add “while fostering a deepening sense of unity amongst the citizens of all nations, creeds and orientations.”

DOOLAP: “Among” or “amongst”?

FREEBAG: I don’t really care. Whichever is right.

BJORNG: What about “forge”?

FREEBAG: What about it?

BJORNG: I just think we should talk about how we forge things. Maybe we can forge a vision. So let me try: In a spirit of generosity and in an environment of respect … I think we should say “mutual respect” … we forge a vision in which we strive to implement strategic and sustainable … wait … strategic, sustainable and cutting-edge initiatives with the goal of growing a global sense of joy while fostering a deepening sense of unity among the citizens of all nations, creeds and orientations.

SANTA: Okay, that’s a good start. I think the management team can take it from here and give it a little polish. We could spend all day hammering out the specific language, but Mrs. Claus is signaling that it’s time to move on to the next agenda item. Okay, give me a show of hands for who wants to be a part of the new Social Media Team?

Book Review in a Questioning Vein

2009-12-21T17:22:00.000-08:00

Have you read Padgett Powell’s new book, Interrogative Mood: A Novel? Are you at least aware of it, perhaps from having read an article about Mr. Powell in the October 18, 2009 edition of the New York Times Magazine? Do I need to remind you that each of the book’s sentences is a question? If this is the first time you’ve heard of the book, have I piqued your curiosity, or are you rolling your eyes, thinking, “For God’s sake! What a silly idea?" If I hadn’t capitalized “God” in that last question, would you have been offended? In a typical day, what is the ratio by which you are offended relative to not being offended? Can you live with that?

Have you already guessed how the rest of this book review is going to go? Do you agree with Ernest Hemingway’s statement that “parody is the last refuge of the frustrated writer?” Or are you confusing that with Brendan Gill’s observation that “parody is homage gone sour?” If I had left out the first names of those authors, would you have asked, “Who’s that?” with regard to Gill, but not Hemingway? Is there a chance you would have asked, “Which Hemingway?” In a fist fight, who do you think would win, Hemingway or Gill? What if Hemingway wielded a shotgun and Gill was armed with nothing but a rolled up copy of the New Yorker? Are you picturing this scenario?

Are you still with me? How many sentences of this review do you think I wrote before realizing that my approach is utterly unoriginal and--if we’re being honest with each other--trite? Can you explain why I insist on pushing forward in this vein? Would you think less of me if I had misspelled it “vane”? Would calling this review a pastiche be a fair characterization, or is that too highfalutin? Have you ever called something highfalutin? Have you had enough of this? What else have you had enough of in your life?

Are you amused or annoyed by non sequiturs? Do you find it disconcerting when a question such as “Are you familiar with the sport of kite fighting?” is juxtaposed with one such as “Do you think of there being a proper point in your debilitation as you age at which you should, if you can, kill yourself?” Would you laugh if the very next sentence is, “Do you have any experience with boils?” When was the last time you used the word "juxtapose"?

Do the questions we pose to others reveal secrets about ourselves? Have you ever had to stuff a dead body in a trunk? Did you see what I just did there? Are you telling us everything? Do you display misanthropic tendencies, by which I mean would you nod your head in agreement upon reading this series of questions: "Do the people you do not wish to talk to far exceed the number you do wish to talk to? Do you have much to say to even those to whom you do wish to speak? Do you know where it went wrong with you"?

Presuming you know such things, who taught you the cocktail party strategy of asking questions to draw people into conversation? Or are you more apt to think, “Enough about you, let’s talk about me?” Are you an actor? Do you quibble over the difference between strategy and tactic? If an author, over the course of 164 pages, asks thousands of questions, many of which are quite personal and blunt, would you have a clear portrait of him by the end of the book, even though he hasn't answered any questions himself? Would you be able to guess the author’s age based on the content of his questions, or in what region he lives? Do you talk about regionalism in the company of friends?

What do you think of this paragraph, which appears on page 27?

If your family had a cat, and the neighbor across the street had a cardinal in a cage, presumably because it could not live in the wild, and your family’s cat tormented the cardinal to death by leaping at and striking the cage, would you feel bad about it all your life? Is feeling bad about something all one’s life anything to particularly feel bad about? Are we redeemed by regret? Do you like going into very cold water? When was the last time you wielded a slingshot? Are you any good? Do you remember Buster Brown shoes? Are you afraid of geese with red carbuncular heads? Can you ski on water? On snow? Are you prepared for the end?

Did you notice how the author, in the midst of a rather bizarre hypothetical situation slipped in that simple line: "Are we redeemed by regret?" How careful do you suppose he was in selecting "carbuncular" as an adjective and can you think of any choice that would have been better?

How about this self-referential paragraph from page 70?

Is there anything you’d like to ask me? Are you curious to know what I’ll do with the answers you’ve given me? Do you think I can make some kind of meaningful “profile” of you? Could you, or someone, do you think, make such a profile of me from the questions I have asked you? If we had these profiles, could we not relax and let them do the work of living for us and take our true selves on a long vacation? Isn’t it the case that certain people are already on to this trick of posting their profiles on duty while simultaneously living private underground lives? Can you recognize these profile soldiers by a certain dismissive calm, a kind of gentle smile about them when other are getting petty? Is in fact the character of the profile-façade person not that which is called wise? And is the person who is congruent with his daily self and who has no remote self regarded as shallow?

Does that last paragraph give you a hint of what to expect from this book? Might it help you understand why I liked this book so much? Are you more inclined to read the book now that you've read this post, or less so? If you have or will read "Interrogative Mood: A Novel?" will you let me know whether you ended up liking or disliking the narrator? Will knowing that I liked the narrator influence you? Would you lie to me?

On a related topic, do you remember that I wrote a review of Willy Vlautin’s book “Motel Life” in parodic form nearly a year ago, and that the Oregonian's arts and culture critic at the time, Barry Johnson, called it “the best book review of the new year...?” Do you realize that Mr. Johnson has not (to my knowledge) called another book review "the best of the year?" Also, are you aware that Mr. Johnson no longer writes for the Oregonian? Help me here, but doesn't that mean that I can now claim bragging rights for writing the best book review of 2009 according to Barry Johnson of the Oregonian, even though 2009 is not yet over?

May I ask just one more question? How can you not laugh at a sentence like this:

"If one man suggests to a second that he resembled Ted Kennedy, and the second in protest said, 'I ain’t got no outside gorilla,' what would his remark mean?"

Random Quote

2009-12-16T13:07:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, I finished reading Padgett Powell's novel, "A Woman Named Drown." Here's a quote:

It seems to me that people are ready to hear things never heard before so long as they are not frightened for their physical safety or worried that listening may cost them money.

Discuss among yourselves.

A Winter’s Ride

2009-12-09T11:28:00.000-08:00

I rode my bike to work this morning. I usually do. But today is different—there is a bright blue sky; crisp, clear air and it is 18 degrees outside. I thought I was prepared: lots of layers, extra socks, a thick scarf, and my super-warmest gloves. And I felt pretty good…for the first seven minutes. Then the cold began to creep in and my body responded: numb fingertips; tingly toes; aching cheeks; short, sharp breaths. “Keep moving, keep moving….”

Often, when the weather turns there is a comradeship, a solidarity among the bikers and pedestrians who brave the elements. Not today. A deep silence filled the spaces between car engines and squeaky brakes. No smiles. We each suffered our own personal endurance test (especially the guy with the drooping pants and exposed butt crack).

But I made it and am now cozying up to the space heater beneath my desk. I’m feeling lucky to be one of the warm ones; someone with a destination—a home, an office, a warm place in which to regroup. I’ll ride home tonight, and again tomorrow. Because these little moments of discomfort serve to remind me how comfortable I really am.

Show Me the Money!

2009-12-08T17:30:00.000-08:00

Today, the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) announced that it will distribute just under $27 million in grants to 1,207 projects. Included in those numbers are 994 projects ($23,828,500) in the “Access to Artistic Excellence” category. According to the NEA press release, 1,697 eligible applications were submitted seeking funds for the creation and presentation of work in a variety of disciplines--a 22 percent increase over the prior year. For those keeping track, that means that just under 59% of the requests were funded (though many may have received a smaller grant than requested).

NEA Chair, Rocco Landesman stated that these grants will support “projects that have great works of art at the heart of them; that work to inspire and transport audiences and visitors; and that create and retain opportunities for artists and arts workers to be a part of this country's real economy."

With ten Oregon arts organizations receiving grants totaling $232,500, that works out to be just about 1 percent of the total. According to population estimates from the U.S. Census (2008), Oregon has 1.2 percent of the nation’s population. Seems to me, we got screwed out of .2 percent of what's due. But let's not quibble over rounding errors. You might note that six of the ten Oregon projects are to theater companies.

Here’s the list of Oregon's awardess, with project descriptions from the NEA. On behalf of Culture Shock, I extend a hearty congratulations to all of them:

Miracle Theatre Company
Category: Theater
$15,000
To support the West Coast premiere of El Quijote by Santiago García, based on the early 17th-century novel Don Quixote by Cervantes. Artistic Director Olga Sanchez will direct the piece.

Oregon Children's Theatre Company
Category: Theater
$20,000
To support the adaptation and premiere of Small Steps by Louis Sachar. The play will be a sequel to Sachar's novel Holes, which also was successfully adapted for the stage.

Oregon Shakespeare Festival Association
Category: Theater
$50,000
To support the development and world premiere production of American Night, a new piece by the theater ensemble Culture Clash to be directed by Jo Bonney. The project will be the first production in the company's American Revolutions: the United States History Cycle, a decade-long public dialogue, commissioning, and production initiative.

Portland Center Stage
Category: Theater
$15,000
To support the 12th annual JAW (Just Add Water): Playwrights Festival. The festival supports playwrights in the development of new works to enhance the repertoire of the American theater.

Third Rail Repertory Theatre
Category: Theater
$10,000
To support a final workshop and world premiere production of The Gray Sisters by Craig Wright. The production will be directed by Producing Artistic Director Slayden Scott Yarbrough and performed by company members.

White Bird
Category: Dance
$25,000
To support the presentation of dance companies in the White Bird Uncaged series. The project will include master classes and lecture-demonstrations.

Portland Art Museum (on behalf of Northwest Film Center)
Category: Media Arts
$35,000
To support the Northwest Film and Video Festival and its tour throughout the Northwest. The festival showcases new work by media artists living in Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Oregon, Washington, and British Columbia.

Eugene Symphony Association, Inc.
Category: Music
$12,500
To support American Encounters: Steven Stucky. The series will include performances of Stucky's recent compositions, a radio broadcast, and educational activities by the composer.

Artists Repertory Theatre (aka Artists Rep)
Category: Musical Theatre
$20,000
To support the development and production of Gracie and the Atom by Portland playwright and composer Christine McKinley. The production will be promoted through the theater's education and outreach program Actors to Go, which features student matinees, artists in classrooms, and post-show discussions.

Portland Opera Association Inc.
Category: Opera
$20,000
To support new productions of a chamber opera triple-bill comprising Leonard Bernstein's Trouble in Tahiti and Monteverdi's one-act operas Il Ballo Delle Ingrate and Il Combattimento di Tancredi e Clorinda. The artists will include the Portland Opera Studio Artists (POSA) and the POSA Chamber Opera.

Portland Taiko
Category: Presenting
$10,000
To support the development and presentation of Ten Tiny Taiko Dances. The series of new works will be created in collaboration with invited choreographers, musicians, and performance artists.

Although the organization is based in Vancouver, there’s one more project that touches Oregon:

Confluences (aka The Confluence Project)
Category: Design
$32,000
To support a landscape art installation by artist/architect Maya Lin at Celilo State Park. The installation will be located near The Dalles, Oregon, where one of North America's largest waterfalls was once located.

One final note: This post is an example of the new citizen's journalism that will soon be crushing "legacy media," which is what we're supposed to be calling that old fashioned stuff like newspapers. Frankly, I don't see why we need real reporters anyway. All I had to do was extract text from a press release, pull a list from a website, and do a quick Google search for census data. Any idiot could do it.

National Novel Writing Month Ends

2009-11-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

CHAPTER 1: The Challenge Begins

Chester rattled the ice in his glass and slurped the last few drops of gin. “I believe I’ll have just a nip more,” he said to the bartender. “Then I’m going to get serious about this.”

The bartender poured a stiff shot. “What are you working on now?”

“Just a little thing that I suspect is unfamilar to a working stiff such as yourself. It’s called a novel. A book of narrative fiction. My magnum opus.” Chester took a deep drink and sighed with pleasure. He wiped a few stray drops from the keyboard of his laptop.

“Yeah right,” the bartender said, wiping the bar with a dirty rag. “And I’m going to build a rocket ship in my basement. I wish you luck, my good man.”

“It’s not a question of luck. It’s about commitment and follow-through. That and having a target. Over the month of November, I’m going to write an entire novel, or at least 50,000 words of one. You see, there’s this thing called National Novel Writing Month. People just like me--and some ordinary people too--are going to write complete novels in just thirty days. All I need to do is focus and keeping plugging away at it. 1,500 to 2,000 words a day ought to do it. I'm feeling really good about this.”

"Say, when was the last time you wrote anything for that ... what's it called? ...that blog thing you do?"

"This is different. I'm not going to worry about the quality of the writing. I'm just going to write and write and write," Chester said as he turned back to his keyboard.

“Then I better leave you alone to get started. It’s already past midnight and time waits for no man,” said the bartender pointing at the clock and shaking his head. "By the way, consider me skeptical."

“I'll consider you tipless. Besides, who says I haven’t started? I’ll have you know I’ve written well over two hundred words already.”

“That’s great. Sorry to be a doubter. Ready for another drink?”

“Just one more. Then I really need to get busy.”

THE END

Crushed

2009-11-22T16:15:00.000-08:00

Twilight, or more specifically New Moon, is everywhere you look these days. I keep hearing how hunky these actors are and how so many teens (and probably their moms too) are screaming in the theaters whenever one of them takes off his shirt. It’s got me thinking about teen crushes. How powerful they can be: all consuming and passionate.

We tend to feel this way about people that we don’t know very well—or don’t know at all in the case of celebrities. Familiarity truly does breed contempt? In any case, by not knowing someone well, we are able to create a blank slate on which we can spin our fantasies and illusions. We allow our imaginations to shape the world just the way we want it. We envision best friends, lovers even; perfect in every way.

It brings me back to one of my own crushes (which, I confess, lingers to this day). I have long had a thing for David Bowie. It is not his physical attributes that interest me. Rather it’s a core fascination that encompasses his music and, from what I’ve gleaned in interviews, the way he interprets the world. And even though he is who he is, and I am who I am, with worlds of difference between us, I can’t help but feel that we are bound in some odd way.

I’m listening to David Bowie right now. The album is “Aladdin Sane”, and particularly the song “Time”. It reminds me of a dream I once had about Bowie when I was 14 years old.

I look at my watch; it says 9:25,
And I think, ‘Oh God, I’m still alive’.
We should be on by now.

In this dream, Bowie contacted me and we agreed to meet on a certain bridge in Hackensack, on a certain date in August, at 9:25 am. The dream was incredibly vivid. It was so striking that it just had to be a real message. David Bowie was somehow reaching out, and what I thought to be a one-sided crush, was possibly something deeper, crossing the bounds of time and space. I knew I had to go. How could I not?

You—are not a victim.
You—just scream with boredom.
You—are not evicting time.

I thought about the dream all summer. I knew I was probably feeding into my own fantasies; creating something out of nothing. But what was the harm? It made me happy—that ought to count for something. And what if it truly was real? As the designated date approached, I mulled my own sanity vs. my teenage desperation for something greater and more magnificent than what I had.

Ultimately, I did not go to the bridge that day. Perhaps David Bowie did. Perhaps he waited awhile, hardly knowing himself why he was there, before shrugging his shoulders and moving on. I might have missed the opportunity of a lifetime. But in the end, I decided that some things are best left to the imagination.

Perhaps you’re smiling now,
Smiling through this darkness,
When all I have to give
Is guilt for dreaming.
We should be on by now.

Lost Portland

2009-11-22T14:31:00.001-08:00

I promise to write something for Culture Shock soon. Really. Right now I'm sitting in the lobby of the Newmark Theatre while close to 900 kids and their adults watch Willy Wonka trying to find someone who will inherit his chocolate factory. Spoiler Alert: It's Charlie.

In the meantime, enjoy these pictures of SW Broadway and Salmon, today and circa 1954. That's the Heathman Hotel you're looking at. A Rexall Store filled the corner spot where Cacao now has a little shop. I presume that the drugstore also occupied what is now the Heathman's lobby as well as a good portion of its bar and restaurant. Of course, we all know that the Paramount sign was changed to read "Portland" when the old vaudeville hall was renovated to create the Schnitzer Auditorium (a.k.a., the Arlene).

For more vintage Portland photos, I recommend searching Flickr for "Portland vintage" and this historic photo archive.

ADDENDUM: I just found the photo below of Broadway from the same mid-1950s era,but shot from the reverse angle. That's still the Heathman with the Rexall drugstore in the corner on the left side of the photo. The building across the street from the Heathman apparently was the "Northwest School of Commerce." The building now houses John Helmer Haberdasher, which I hope will always be there because every town needs a haberdashery. A bit down the street on the left is the old Fox theater (now the new Fox Tower). The Fox Theatre's art deco box office is reportedly being stored by the Oregon Historical Society. When I arrived in Portland, the theater was closed but not yet torn down. And, of course, that's the Jackson Tower on the right side with the clock tower.

I owe this latest find to the blog Lost Oregon--a fabulous source of ephmera and local history maintained by John Chilson. I love this kind of stuff.

Cover Artist

2009-11-17T18:54:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to local artist Christine Bourdette, whose work appears on the cover of Sculpture Magazine in December! The issue will soon be available in refined magazine-selling establishments everywhere.

If you are not familiar with her work, but as you might glean from this cover, Bourdette is known for using interesting materials from wood, leather and rubber to potatoes, feathers and corn. Her work has been called everything from "playful" to "unsettling," two of my favorite descriptions in the arts, so naturally I am very fond of her work. She's also a great community collaborator, having developed projects with choreographers Mary Oslund, Minh Tran and Kristy Edmunds, and filmmakers Jim Blashfield and Joanna Priestley over the last several years.

Congratulations, Christine! For more information on the artist, visit the Elizabeth Leach Gallery website.

Even MORE shameless promotion

2009-11-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

The Willamette Week just issued its annual Give!Guide, featuring 79 nonprofits doing great work in the community. The Give!Guide is an insert in this week's edition of the WW, but they've also created a website with lots of information about the listed organizations and the capacity to process donations directly. If you want to donate through the Give!Guide, you can select one or many organizations and make a donation online in a single transaction. ALL donated funds go to the designated organizations.

This year, the Give!Guide includes ten arts organizations – more than ever before. I like all of them:

Independent Publishing Resource Center
Literary Arts
Live Wire Radio
Newspace for Photography
Northwest Dance Project
NW Documentary
PDX Pop Now!
White Bird
Wordstock
Oregon Children’s Theatre

My particular favorite is Oregon Children’s Theatre. (Full disclosure: As my employer, Oregon Children’s Theatre is largely responsible for the fact that I haven’t been posting on Culture Shock lately). We’re proud to be in such august company. Of course, the Give!Guide also highlights organizations dedicated to social action, the environment, wellness, youth, animals and education.

The Give!Guide has three primary goals:

1) To encourage people 18-35 to get involved in philanthropy;
2) To attract new donors and/or volunteers to these causes; and,
3) To provide publicity and exposure for a variety of local non-profits.

To encourage giving, the Willamette Week has sprinkled in a lot of great incentives and rewards. On top of those, Oregon Children’s Theatre will be giving away ticket coupons and invitations to shop at the adidas Village Store with a 50% discount off retail prices. Also, the Collins Foundation will be matching all new contributions Oregon Children’s Theatre receives through the Give!Guide.

Shameless Promotion Edition

2009-11-06T15:33:00.000-08:00

Excuse me while I plug Oregon Children’s Theatre, the performing arts company with which I am associated.

Tickets for the season opener, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” are flying out the door like winged crepes at the annual All You Can Eat Flying Hotcake Festival . OCT’s Artistic Director, Stan Foote, has loaded the show with fun gags and whiz-bang effects. The characters are familiar yet distinct from what you remember from the two famous movie adaptations. The set is a knock-out, as are the incredible costumes created by Sarah Gahagan (equal to her Drammy Award-winning costumes for last year’s “James and the Giant Peach”). Two 5:00 shows have been added on November 14th and 21st.

Read the Oregonian review, which called it a "sweet dream of a production." We also loved this review from NW Kids, including an interview with a six year old audience member.

Tonight is opening night for the thespians from OCT's Young Professionals program. A cast of ten talented teenagers will perform “Dis/Troy” in the company's black box studio at the Galleria. The play by Yokanaan Kearns is a contemporary adaptation of Homer’s Iliad that blends silly humor with lots of physical action. This production features some kick-ass fight scenes choreographed by John Armour, the aptly named fight director who has been responsible for much of the violence and mayhem you may have seen on Portland’s stages over the years. The production is directed by OCT’s own Marcella Crowson, who manages the Educational Theatre Program in partnership with Kaiser Permanente. Theater folks in town know and love her from her time as a stage manager for many productions at Portland Center Stage. Marci describes “Dis/Troy” as “not your eighth-grade teacher’s version of the Iliad.”

The show plays this weekend and next, with 7:00 p.m. performances on Friday and Saturday and Sunday matinees at 2:00. Location: Galleria, 600 SW 10th Avenue, Third Floor. $5-10 Admission. Box Office: 503-228-9571. “Dis/Troy” will also be performed in the rotunda of Hatfield Hall (1111 SW Broadway) as part of the PCPA’s “Brown Bag Lunch Series.” That show will be free.

On Monday, November 9th (7:00-8:30) Marketplace Money and Oregon Public Broadcasting will be taping an episode titled, “Financial Futures: Talking money with your tykes, tweens and teens,” in the Winningstad Theatre. What does that have to do with OCT? As part of the reporting on kids and money, the show’s host, Tess Vigeland, will talk to the young actors from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and from OCT's youth improv troupe, Impulse. Folks from Live Wire! Radio will be on deck as well. More information, including how to get tickets can be found here.

Speaking of money: OCT just learned that it will receive a $20,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts in support of its commission and production of a stage adaptation of "Small Steps." Novelist Louis Sachar has been working with Stan Foote to adapt his sequel to "Holes" for the stage. The play will feature original music by Karl Mansfield. I'll tell you more about it later. The money from the NEA is very helpful for the project, but so is the validation that the company is playing in the big leagues.

We're Back!

2009-11-05T16:45:00.000-08:00

Where the hell have I been all this time?

I haven’t posted since October 18th. October was Culture Shock’s leanest month in … well, in months. At 11:55 pm on October 31st, I began a post about my Halloween night tour of Lone Fir Cemetery. I thought I'd finish writing it the next day and it would still appear as an October entry. I never finished it. That's a lie. I never started it. All I did was upload this picture:

By the way, that's not even a picture I took. I found it on the internet.

How embarrassing and pathetic. I hang my head in shame. Here is a pictoral representation of how I feel:

I wish I could tell you that I secured a lucrative publishing deal that prevents me from writing anything for free anymore. Or that my commitment to reducing greenhouse gas emissions prevents me from turning on the computer. Perhaps you thought I’d accepted Culture Shock’s generous buy-out offer and taken early retirement. Have you been worried that I’ve been stricken by swine flu?

The simple truth is I lost the momentum. The mojo wasn't there. Lassitude. Plus the start of the arts season, which means everything in my life is much busier. I’ll try to do better, but no promises. Now get off my case.

While we’re on the blogging beat, I have a few items to report:

Barry Johnson, friend of Culture Shock and one of this town’s most astute cultural observers and pontificators, has announced that he will be leaving the Oregonian next month. Sadly, our local daily rag continues to shed talent. Barry has opted for the paper's latest buy-out offer and plans to seek a new path in cultural journalism. We look forward to reading his insights in whatever form he chooses to share them. For our Facebooking friends, you can sign up to join “Oregonians for More Barry Johnson.” As for the Oregonian, we hope it finds a way out of its death spiral.

Tomorrow night, I’ll be attending Portland Opera’s opening night of the Philip Glass opera, Orphée. Unfortunately I won't be there as a member of the bloggercorps the Opera has recruited to generate on-the-spot commentary. That crew includes such weighty thinkers as Bob Hicks (of Art Scatter), Storm Large (of the Eight-Mile Wide Larges), Byron Beck (Portland’s Rona Barrett), and Cynthia Fuhrman (who?). Since I will be attending as a civilian, I’ll miss out on the drinking games (down a shot each time a musical phrase repeats). It also means I missed out on schmoozing with Philip Glass the other day, and I won’t get the backstage tour. Does it sound like I’m pouting?

The advantage is that I won’t be pressured to write anything interesting or informative. I suggest that you read what Bob Hicks has already written about Orphée (the man is doing his homework), then pretend that you read it here.

Sayonara!

2009-10-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

As The Oregonian reported today, Portland Mayor Sam Adams is heading to Japan for six days. The reasons for this diplomatic visit are many, but the paper has distilled the mayor's mission down to two key points: bring Mitsubishi's zero-emission cars to Portland, and bring Pink Martini to Japan.

Like its competitor the Nissan Leaf, which will be sold in five U.S. markets including Oregon next fall, the Mitsubishi i-MiEV is powered solely by electricity, and can be recharged from a regular home socket. The four-seater vehicle can run up to 160 kilometers (100 miles) after charging seven hours at 200 volts. While any electric car is good news in my opinion, the part that I still don't understand is how the i-MiEV, at reported retail of $47,000, can compete with the Leaf, which most industry observers say will retail for $20,000 to $30,000. And there's no word yet on whether the Mayor plans to lobby Detroit to sell Portland a staging ground for the new Chevy Volt.

Whomever we are trying to woo, perhaps Thomas Lauderdale and friends can help. The Mayor is taking several autographed copies of Pink Martini CDs as gifts for Japanese dignitaries. After all, the French are in love with them, and Pink Martini has dabbled in Japanese a fair amount.

Sympathique features “Song of the Black Lizard," taken from the soundtrack of a Japanese cult film of the same name, and Hey Eugene! includes a Japanese-language track, "Taya Tan." In a reworking of the Japanese song “Kikuchiyo to Mohshimasu” for Hang on Little Tomato, Pink Martini collaborated and recorded in Japan with Hiroshi Wada, the slide guitarist whose group originally recorded and released the song 40 years ago. Splendor in the Grass doesn't have any Japanese inspired music, so we can only hope that our Japanese friends won't take it personally that critics are calling this the best and prettiest album of them all.

The Mayor will also be giving away Japanese-inspired blown glass orbs and vases from Portland artist Andy Paiko, and framed woodblock prints (you know, the Japanese printmaking process) by Carole Zoom. For our sister City of Sapporo, the Mayor is bringing a 1985 hand-colored etching by George Johanson. It's called "Waiting for the Parade I," and captures the true character of our world-famous Rose Festival better than most glossy photos.

The Mayor's office also tells me that Portland jazz performer Patrick Lamb is playing (or, played) in Sapporo tonight, and provided tickets to the U.S. Consulate General Sapporo as a pre-thank you for the Mayor’s hosted dinner there.

Now go get us some electric cars!

The Foundation Heimlich Maneuver

2009-10-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

In announcing their October grant awards, the Meyer Memorial Trust made an interesting statement about their intentions to support Portland's five major arts organizations at roughly 1% of their budgets for the next 2-4 years.

Specifically, the Trust has just awarded $300,000 over two years to the Oregon Symphony, $260,000 over an unspecified period to the Portland Art Museum, and $200,000 to PCS over two years. Presumably the Opera's and Ballet's proposals are still pending, because the announcement came with this explanatory statement:

While 60% of MMT's funding has gone to organizations addressing rising demand for health and human services during this economically challenging time, we recognize the importance of supporting arts and culture groups, which contribute to the quality of life of our communities and region with both cultural and economic contributions.

Historically, MMT has been a relatively strong funder of Portland's five largest arts organizations, with a total of nearly $21 million collectively awarded to Portland Art Museum, Oregon Symphony, Portland Center Stage, Portland Opera, and Oregon Ballet Theatre since 1982. Foundation support has represented a larger portion of these arts organization's budgets because until recently, Oregon was ranked 53rd among states and territories (behind Guam and American Samoa) in government support of the arts per capita. (Oregon now ranks 40th.)

Two years ago, MMT and other area arts funders began to converse with Portland's five largest arts organizations to better understand their business models and what they need to achieve financial stability, in addition to artistic excellence. As a result of these discussions and a study by a nationally recognized arts consultant, MMT has determined it can most appropriately assist the groups with two years of operating support limited to approximately 1% of the organizations' operating budgets, with the possibility of an additional two years. During this period, MMT will not entertain additional proposals for operating and project support from these five groups.

Now before all of the other arts organizations start asking what about me, I would like to point out that the majors have been part of some difficult conversations over the past year with MMT and other grantmakers (including RACC) who have been concerned about the long-range sustainability of these groups. At the foundations' request, each organization has worked diligently to produce a plan that helps satisfy the concerns of trustees everywhere who are no longer willing to invest in organizations with chronic deficit problems. However, it is important to note that each organizations' debt situation is different, and granted some organizations are in worse shape than others, but suffice it to say that conservative lenders have legitimate and reasonable concerns about investing in any of these organizations right now, which is why they all had some 'splaining to do.

Imagine, if you've been the trustee of a foundation for the last 25 years, how many times you have heard an arts organization say that it has finally identified the formula for sustainability, only to fall back into a deficit a few years later, sometimes chronically so. And then they'll tell you, you all just need to give us more money, so they'll build a budget that assumes the contributions will magically come flowing in because their board is newly motivated to raise millions of dollars, only to find that a recession or a snowstorm or a death in the family prevents them from achieving their goal. OK, maybe that happens in one year, that's understandable. But if a board lets that behavior go on for two years, three, ten -- you can see how a foundation trustee could start banging his or her head against the wall and declare, Not another dime for this madness!

Fortunately for our arts organizations, the foundations wanted to be part of the solution. So they brought in technical assistance providers and convened arts organizations to let them know what they needed to do in order to satisfy their increasingly skeptical trustees. They asked them to demonstrate an ability to raise money at historically proven levels before moving toward bigger budgets. They asked them for evidence that they were taking their deficits seriously, with viable plans for repaying their debts. And they asked each board to be more aware of its organization's finances so that they could address the real problems together -- it's not helping anyone to sweep little messes under the rug and hide financial concerns in the balance sheet. These foundations did NOT ask them to cut their product, only to demonstrate that the product can be scaled match what the public is willing to pay for. I think of it as attempting the Heimlich Maneuver before jumping into CPR.

Fortunately, the arts organizations are coming through with strong and convincing cases. Which leads me to why I think this is a rising tide that will float all ships. For MMT to philosophically set aside funding at 1% of arts organizations budgets is a good start, but we don't know what happens after these 2-4 years have expired. Presumably, hopefully, arts organizations will then be able to apply for larger grants, not smaller ones, for unique needs they'll have in the years ahead, having demonstrated themselves as completely viable organizations with net assets on the rise. Meanwhile, smaller arts organizations are still applying for and receiving grants from MMT that represent a much larger percentage of their own budgets, sometimes as much as 20%, although these are highly competitive grants that are difficult for many to compete for given MMT's emphasis on social change and problem-solving. This is my biggest concern, does a small arts organization really have to solve a problem in order to be considered a vital charitable organization in our community?

But the MMT is re-evaluating their role, and for that I give them much credit. For the record I still think the Meyer Memorial Trust could and should invest much more money in the local arts community, but this statement about the major arts organizations is a critical first step. The performance of these five groups over the next five years could greatly influence the future of arts funding in Portland, and we are counting on them all to demonstrate extraordinary returns on investment rather than becoming just another black hole of arts funding. Let's consider this a pilot in MMT's own internal conversations about whether or not they should be supporting more arts organizations with general support in the future.

Gonna Fly Like an Eagle

2009-10-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

A short story inspired by recent events.

“Boy! How many times do I gotta tell you to get away from the goddamned aircraft!”

“I ain’t touchin’ it. I’m just lookin’ at it,” the boy yelled back as he kicked at a dirt clod. “Besides,” he muttered, “it’s not an aircraft, it’s just a big stupid balloon.”

“What d’you say?”

“Nothing.” The boy spit on the ground.

“You better not be talking trash about that project, boy. You know what that aircraft means, don’t you.”

“Yeah, I know … it means freedom.”

“That’s right and don’t you forget it. That aircraft you’re messin’ with is our ticket out of this shithole,” the father said as he finished his beer and tossed the can on a growing pile. He scratched his ankle where the electronic monitor had rubbed a spot raw.

The screen door slammed as the father went into the kitchen to get another beer. The boy found a stick in the brown grass and poked the side of the balloon with it. He watched the silvery surface ripple and poked it again. “Stupid balloon.”

The boy’s older brother charged into the yard and skidded his bike to a stop in a spray of dirt. He picked up a rock and chucked it at the boy. “Hey doofus! Dad’s gonna kick your ass if he sees you messing with the craft.”

“Shut your face, dickweed,” the boy yelled back, already knowing it was a mistake. “I ain’t doing nothing that’s any of your business,” he shouted as he ran toward his hiding place in the garage. He tripped on a tangled garden hose and stumbled. His brother grabbed the back of his shirt, wrestled him to the ground and pushed his face into the dirt while twisting one arm behind his back.

“I’ll tell you what my business is, you stupid asswipe,” the older boy said as he got up and kicked his brother in the ribs. Before he could kick him again, their father came out of the house with a cold beer.

“Leave the boy alone,” he yelled. “And if either of the two of you touch that thing again, you’re gonna be as sorry as you ever been.”

The older boy sped off on his bike, popping a wheelie on his way down the driveway. The father was glad to see him go. He always told himself that he loved both his boys, but he was having a hard time seeing what the point of the older one was. The younger boy still had some spunk. He was a dreamer.

The father settled into his folding camp chair with a grunt, fitted his beer can into the cup-holder and started reading the new issue of Popular Science. He liked being an inventor a whole lot more than working at the filling station. If only he could make just one great invention before his unemployment ran out ... but ever since the hovercraft project caught fire and singed his eyebrows right off, he was finding it difficult to finish things. Now that the balloon was almost ready to launch, he could feel his interest starting to wane.

His third wife was evermore giving him a hard time about his failed projects. “They oughta do one of those reality TV shows about you,” she’d said that morning. “They could call it ‘The Biggest Loser’.”

“They already got a show with that name,” he said. “It’s about fat people and I ain’t that, so why don’t you just shut your mouth, because that’s what’s fat around here.” He smiled at his quick comeback.

“Okay then, smartass,” she said. “If you’re so sure that’s the case, maybe my mouth is too fat to cook you breakfast anymore.”

“That don’t make no sense,” he said. “What’s that got to do with anything anyways?”

He was ready to argue the point, but she’d already grabbed her car keys off the counter and slammed her way out to the driveway. As the Kia’s tires squealed down the street, he was rooting around the refrigerator looking for something to eat. He found a baggie with two turkey franks in it and, after rinsing them under the kitchen tap, dipped them, one after the other, in a jar of mayonnaise and ate them cold.

Now, a few hours later, he was hungry again. “Hey! I need a little help here,” he called, hoping he could get the boy to fetch him something. The only sound was somebody’s leaf blower and his neighbor’s dog yapping. “Boy! Where the hell did you get to?”

He heaved himself out of the camp chair, tipping it over and spilling his beer. “Goddammit all to hell,” he said as he watched the beer soak into the dry ground. He looked around to see if anyone had witnessed his clumsy move, but the yard was empty.

Back in the kitchen, he found a can of Pringles tucked behind a sack of flour. He ate the chips in stacks of three and washed them down with a fresh beer. The television on the counter was on with the sound turned down. For a minute he watched Oprah jumping around excited about something, but by the time he got the volume turned up it was a commercial and he'd missed the story. “Shit, they should have me on Oprah. Now that would be fascinating,” he thought as he wiped the orange powder from his fingers.

The shaft of afternoon sunlight beaming through the window flickered briefly as if a cloud had passed by. The father glanced up from the television and saw a quick flash of silver. Only a moment passed before he realized what he had just witnessed.

“Jesus H. Christ,” he shouted as he banged the screen door open and ran into the yard. The 22-foot diameter helium-filled weather-balloon he had constructed out of mylar, duct tape and some old paneling from the basement was already 25 feet up in the air and rising rapidly into the bright October sky. The lengths of clothesline that had tethered it to his old Ranchero were dangling out of his reach. He watched it float away, the sun glinting from the mirrored surface.

The older boy wheeled back into the yard. “I told him to quit his messing around,” he shouted into the sky. “I knew somethin’ bad was gonna happen. It’s not my fault. I didn’t do nothing. It’s the brat’s fault.” He was pleading now, and starting to cry.

“What the hell are you talking about?” the father asked.

“He was messin’ with the tie-downs. Then he said he was gonna climb inside and fly away from here and never come back.”

The father didn’t answer. He just watched the silver craft as it became smaller and started drifting toward the south. He thought about calling for help, but who do you call when your giant balloon is drifting away with your offspring inside?

Then he thought about that storybook he’d read to the boy. It was one of those ancient stories about a father who built a set of wings out of feathers and beeswax and gave them to his boy. What was it he told that boy? Keep flying toward the sun? Yeah, that was it.

“Keep flying toward the sun, boy,” he said as he watched the balloon float out of sight. "Just like your old man, keep flying toward the sun."

***
Cue Soundtrack: Guitarist (and part-time pirate) Yngwie Malmsteen performs his soaring composition, “Icarus Dream Fanfare,” with the New Japan Philharmonic Orchestra.

Image: “Landscape with the Fall of Icarus” by Pieter Bruegel the elder (ca. 1558).

A mannish motorcycle with awesome yang power!

2009-10-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

Do you enjoy watching movies that are so bad that they’re good? I love watching a disaster movie full of bargain-basement special effects, predictable character-types and a preposterous plot. The best of the genre features a B-list character actor in a heroic role, and you just know that his agent told him, “Sure the script is corny, but you haven’t worked for months, and look what Pulp Fiction did for Travolta.”

I feel the same way about really bad writing. In my career as an arts administrator and freelance grant writer, I’ve read and edited lots of text loaded with jargon, redundancies and nouns turned into verbs. Sometimes it gets so bad that all you can do is laugh.

The other night I ran across a particularly sweet example of horrible copywriting after spotting a photo of this motorcycle called "The Wraith":

Out of curiosity, I visited the website of the motorcycle's builder, Confederate Motorcycles, where I discovered a priceless collection of pretentious copywriting. When I read a few examples out loud, my wife asked, “Are you sure this isn’t just a bad translation?”

Savor this, for example:

We are 100% focused on creating the ultimate street motorcycle experience. From the outset, this has driven our interpretation of perfect two-wheeled motoring. Real world reaction time will be world class. There will be no hint of your machine becoming unsettled. The machine will take whatever the road has in store for it with relaxed professional aplomb. There will be nothing between yourself and the fate of what your road has in store except honest world leading street motoring quality of information. Each component, down to the washers which live on your bolts, is specified for one reason only – because it is the best in the world for application upon your machine.

Let’s review some highlights:

“There will be no hint of your machine becoming unsettled.”

Are we talking about a motorcycle or a robot?

“The machine will take whatever the road has in store for it with relaxed professional aplomb.”

God knows, you don’t want to be riding a motorcycle that reacts with amateurish discomfort.

“There will be nothing between yourself and the fate of what your road has in store except honest world leading street motoring quality of information …”

I’m guessing this means you’ll feel every bump in the road.

“… down to the washers which live on your bolts …”

Daddy, what are those circle things with the holes in them? Why those are the washers which live on the bolts.

The website's description of the "P120 Fighter Combat" model starts with a statement that would make for a fine personal motto: “Clarify opaqueness and nullify hype with straight-forward true to concept certitude.”

The Fighter clarifies opaqueness and nullifies hype with straight-forward true to concept certitude. At the source is a classic right triangle. Proportion is classically derived. Scale is middle way. Bearing exudes structural permanence.Human integration deploys yang energy, vitality, and power in the most simple, pure and direct form. Geometry is optimized for the medium and/or long disciplined journey of sensory heightened motion. Torque to weight is maximized. Engine, suspension and ergonomic luxury and ease of use is optimized. Materials utilization is the finest. Individual piece and component specification is highest and best. Craft preparation and specification is uncompromised. The aesthetic is fresh, industrial, sculptural, holistic and honest. The saddle of the Fighter is your place for those outings which require extended time, geography, meditation and distance. Personal liberation will result!

Here’s the capper:

"Production of this model is limited to fifty motorcycles. 25 Roman numeral and 25 Arabic numeral models will be produced."

I sure hope I can save up $75,000 before the Roman numeral versions are all sold out!

The effete gentleman wearing the glasses in the company's artsy promotional video below is its founder, Matt Chambers. I may be wrong, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he wrote all the copy--especially the line about "awesome yang power."

Missing in Action

2009-10-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

I've been absent quite a bit from this blog lately, but that's not all. I completely missed both the TBA Festival and Wordstock. I have yet to take in Ragtime and China Design Now. And god only knows if I'll make it to the Emerald Retrospective or the Oregon Symphony anytime soon.

For what? A myriad of excuses. I haven't caught the swine flu but I think I coughed up part of my lung last weekend. I love the fall but who wants to go out in some of this weather? I'm not addicted to television but it sure is comfortable watching Glee and Mad Men from my La-z-boy recliner.

We've also been hard at work raising Work for Art dollars and overhauling the RACC website, which was no small task. Suffice it to say that spending this much time in front of the computer at work makes it really hard to spend any time in front of the computer at home, blogging or otherwise. And although this isn't the ultimate purpose of this post I would be remiss if I didn't use this paragraph to acknowledge the fine work of the design team at Davison/Blackheart, CultureShock commenter Shobiz, and the great staff at RACC for producing such a handsome site with volumes of valuable content for the arts community. Blogger's prerogative, no matter how infrequently he writes.

My related arts observation for today comes from Hilary Pfeifer, whose temporary installation "Vertical Garden" is currently featured on our homepage. She wrote to let us know that the piece, which was originally created for the Portland Building Installation Series several years ago, was recently sold to a Pixar executive in Marin. I thought you might enjoy her blog entry on installing the piece in his home, as I did. Congratulations, Hilary!

If you know any artists who are looking to get a temporary installation gig for themselves, RACC is accepting proposals through November 16.

Portland Ugly

2009-10-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

Travel + Leisure recently issued its report on “America’s Favorite Cities” – a ranking of thirty cities across the nation based on the merits of each as a travel destination. I suspect that residents in each and every one of those cities are now griping about the injustice of the scoring. The online report cleverly avoids describing the top secret research methods used to derive the scores.

I’m sorry to report that Portland fell short on many important measures. But first the good news: Once again, our rugged outdoorsy, green “brand” earned us top ratings in the following categories:

#1 Public Parks/Access to Outdoors

#1 Environmental Friendliness

#1 Summer Vacation

#1 Safety

#1 Public Transportation and Pedestrian Friendliness

We came in a respectable second place for being “Athletic/Active” and in the "Farmer’s Markets" competition. We placed third for cafes/coffee bars and scored a decent #5 ranking for “Peace and Quiet.” What’s so funny is that they didn’t give scores for “Love” and “Understanding" (yes, that is a clumsy Elvis Costello reference). We are the fourth most intelligent city.

Since we only scored tenth in the "Friendliest" category, I feel justified in saying, "Suck it, St. Louis!"

It is on the cultural front where our deepest shame is apparent. Portland landed at #19 for theater. Even Cleveland was ahead of us in the 12th place slot. Seattle only made it to #14 (behind Las Vegas at #11, even though that city received the lowest score for "Intelligence" ). Our “Classical Music” score was a middling #16, while Museum/Galleries and Historical Sites/Monuments slunk in at the bottom with scores of #23 and #24 respectively.

What really hurts is our #17 placement for “Attractive People.” Worse than the numerical score is this inane description:

“Portland’s well-documented alternative lifestyle, which may account for its [top ranking] for overall quality of life/visitor experience… may not conform to most visitors’ standards of ‘normal’ beauty.”

Translation: Portlanders are freaks.
At least we didn’t get this comment:

“Cleveland may be internationally recognized for its #1 ranking in affordability, but there’s no getting around the fact that its residents are uniformly hideous to look upon. Visitors to Cleveland may want to take advantage of the city’s #2 ranking for classical music; closing your eyes while listening to the Cleveland Orchestra provides a welcome respite from the monstrous appearance of local residents.”

Okay, so I made that one up. My point is that the one thing worse than annual city ratings by travel magazines is the writing in those magazines.

Laramie Project: Ten Years Later

2009-10-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Tonight (October 12, 2009), Portland will be one of at least 150 cities to participate in a project to premiere “The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, An Epilogue.”

The play is being performed on the same night on stages in all fifty states, Canada, Great Britain, Spain, Hong Kong and Australia. Portland’s edition will be a reading held in the Newmark Theatre, with a cast comprised of a “Who’s Who” of theater artists. Stan Foote, Artistic Director of Oregon Children’s Theatre is directing and Byron Beck, Portland's biggest gossip hound, will serve as narrator.

You all know the story, but here’s a recap: In October 1998, Matthew Shepard was beaten and left to die in the outskirts of Laramie, Wyoming. A month after his murder, playwright Moisés Kaufman and members of the Tectonic Theater Project traveled to Laramie, where they conducted interviews with residents. Out of those interviews, they wrote the play “The Laramie Project,” which was later made into a film. The play and film have been seen by more than 30 million people.

Ten years later, Kaufman and the Tectonic Theater Project returned to Laramie to conduct new interviews. How had the community changed in the intervening decade? How is the event being reinterpreted over time? In addition to re-interviewing many residents, the team interviewed Matthew Shepard’s mother, Judy Shepard, and his murderer Aaron McKinney, who is serving two consecutive life sentences. The resulting play examines how the murder continues to reverberate in the community. Tectonic Theater Project has set up an "Online Community" website to collect blog posts, videos and photos of the event.

Tonight’s performance at the Newmark will be a reading without staging. Stan has assembled a cast comprised of many of his colleagues and talented theater artists and local figures. In addition to Byron Beck, the cast is:

Allen Nause (Artistic Director, Artists Repertory Theatre)
Scott Yarbrough (Artistic Director, Third Rail Repertory)
Beth Harper (Artistic Director, Portland Actors Conservatory)
Dan Murphy (Founding General Manager, Broadway Rose Theatre)
Rose Riordan (Associate Artistic Director, Portland Center Stage)
Helen Raptis (Host of AM Northwest, KATU)
Chris Murray
Paul Glazier
Sharonlee McLean
Troy Lakey
Kelley Marchant
Kathleen Cafiero
Jake Michels
Katie Sundt

The reading is a fundraising benefit for The Matthew Shepard Foundation and Basic Rights Oregon, and is sponsored by Bling Dental. The New Century Players, based in Milwaukie, Oregon is a producing partner. The New Century Players will be presenting a three-week run of the original production of “The Laramie Project” from October 16-31st.

When: Monday October 12, 2009

Where: Newmark Theater, PCPA, 1111 SW Broadway, Portland OR 97205

General Admission: $20, Student Discount Available, $50 VIP Ticket includes entrance to BLING VIP Party at Ten 01 with food by Tabla Mediterranean Bistro.

Tickets are on sale in person at the Portland Center for the Performing Arts Box Office and all Ticketmaster outlets.

By phone: call Ticketmaster at 1-800-745-3000. Or online at www.ticketmaster.com

Saturday Semiotics (a.k.a. Signtology).

2009-10-10T08:49:00.001-07:00

Okay. I promise to actually write something this weekend. Until then, here's a little sign taped to a mirrored window facing SW 10th Avenue in downtown Portland.

Words Escape Me.

2009-10-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

I thought I might finish a blog post this evening. But then I got to thinking about NASA bombing the moon and thought, "What's the point?"

Instead, here are two photographs taken from my living room window in two different seasons.

Love Ridiculous

2009-10-04T22:49:00.001-07:00

A Cat Named Eli

2009-09-30T22:54:00.000-07:00

Fall is the dying season. A time of transition and letting go. A shifting of energy that always leaves me sad and introspective. So it is fitting, I suppose, that today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my cat Eli.

I adopted Eli and his brother Mica when they were eight weeks old. Their mama was a gorgeous Birman named Moon. Their fathers were two different tom cats. We got the call on the night they were born and visited them in their early weeks. They came home with us, shy and afraid. My job, as I saw it, was to love them and make them feel secure. Their job? To simply be cats. We’d take it from there. We bonded from the start.

At first, Eli did not know how to purr. For weeks, he’d struggle with halting little rumbles, until one day he figured it out, loud and strong. And, from then on, he purred me to sleep nearly every night.

Eli was independent, yet loved people. He was incredibly mellow, but other cats in the neighborhood knew not to mess with him. In the early days, whenever we sat near each other, I always kept a hand on the cats. It was my way of saying to them, “I'm here with you. You're safe”. Eli picked up the habit. Any time he cuddled me, which was anytime he could, he always made a point of putting a paw on my hand. If I shifted, that paw followed me.

It is easy to undervalue the relationships we form with our pets. But they are true; more honest, in fact, than many person to person relationships. I always think that these bonds with animals are all the more special and amazing because of our differences. It takes a lot to cross that language barrier and the issues of trust and love.

Mica and Eli were there with us when we bought our first house, got married, had children. They cemented our status as a family before we even realized it. They taught us to give, love purely, and savor quiet moments.

I was three months pregnant when Eli got sick. He began to hide out, taking space for himself. The vet suspected a rare form of cancer. Eli quickly lost weight and strength. I took him to a series of vet appointments, hand fed him from a syringe every few hours, weighed the decisions between his quality of life and my own selfishness, and finally took him to Dove Lewis.

Throughout all this I had my toddler in tow and I tried to prepare him: “Eli is very sick. I’m feeling really sad. I’m worried he might die. My heart is breaking.” When the vet took a look at him, now so weak and wasted away, she said, “Wow, he must have been formidable.” He was.

Dove Lewis couldn’t do much for him. We decided to take him home and put him to sleep in a place that was familiar and comfortable. The night before he died, I woke to a thud in the bathroom. It was Eli, trying to climb into the tub to drink from the tap. I picked him up and lay him down near the faucet. He had a long drink. Then he wet himself. I cleaned him up, carefully dried him, and wrapped him in towels. We lay down together on the bathroom floor. I curled my hand around him and he purred for the first time in days.

The next day, I held him as he died. The last wisp of breath left his body and I felt him let go. I had to let go too.

Now it’s been a year. I have a six month old that Eli never met. My toddler is now four; his memories of Eli beginning to fade. I still have Mica, who cuddles me every night. And I have memories of a dear, dear friend. A cat named Eli.

Household Tips Edition

2009-09-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

You know what Culture Shock has been missing? A regular feature in which we share household tips, that's what.

This afternoon, Courtenay Hameister (@wisenheimer on Twitter), funny writer and host of Live Wire Radio (everybody’s favorite Portland-centric radio show), tweeted this admission: “Just had Miracle Whip for the first time in years, and while ‘miracle’ is a bit of an oversell, it was deliciously tangy.”

That reminded me of having once read that the “miracle” in Miracle Whip is its many uses beyond sandwich and salad lubricant. A quick Google search located several nifty ideas, which I’ve edited just a teeny bit.

Removing dead skin from the feet

Rub a generous amount of Miracle Whip all over your feet with a soft washcloth to remove tired, dead skin. Let the Miracle Whip set for five minutes and rinse off with warm water. Do not reuse the Miracle Whip. Not effective on gangrenous flesh.

Polishing metals

Rub a generous amount of Miracle Whip onto your metals including candleholders, brass lamps, brass knuckles, car bumpers, sink fixtures, metallic gizmos, firearms, robots and jewelry. Leave the Miracle Whip on your metal surface for twenty minutes and wipe with a soft cloth while cooing softly.

Remove cigarette smoke stains from walls

Rub a generous amount of Miracle Whip all over your walls to remove cigarette smoke stains. Rub Miracle Whip all over yourself while doing this. Let the Miracle Whip set for one hour on the wall. Wipe away with a soft buffing cloth. Be sure to leave your windows open so that the odor of the Miracle Whip doesn't overtake your home. Your walls will be restored to their natural, smoke-free beauty. Rub leftover Miracle Whip on your smoke-stained teeth and buff with soft pumice stone.

Condition your Hair

Apply a generous amount of Miracle Whip once a day to condition and shine your hair. Leave the Miracle Whip in your hair for forty-five minutes. Garnish with parsley for a fresh look. Rinse the Miracle Whip from your hair thoroughly and wash with your usual shampoo, or not.

Remove Chewing Gum

If you're ever unfortunate enough to get chewing gum in your hair or your child's hair, just apply a generous amount of Miracle Whip to loosen it (the gum, not the hair...well, maybe the hair). Be sure to discard the gum!

Use as a facial

Apply Miracle Whip to your face and leave it on for about 30 minutes before rinsing it off with warm water, followed by a cool water rinse. This will moisturize your face while restoring it to its natural, smoke-free beauty.

Remove head lice

Apply Miracle Whip to your scalp and the roots of your hair. Apply it to the edges in front, the sides and the back. Place a plastic hair bag (not a bag of plastic hair) over your hair and leave it on for one hour. Rinse the Miracle Whip from your hair using a comb and warm water. Then wash your hair twice to remove the residue from the Miracle Whip. You can also add a few drops of peppermint oil into your shampoo to mask the smell of shame. Repeat this procedure every ten days, or ten times daily depending on your supply of Miracle Whip.

Okay, that gives us 20 posts for the month of September--a respectable number. Goodnight.

Who's on Top?

2009-09-30T11:53:00.000-07:00

OregonBusiness magazine just released its ranking of the Top 100 Nonprofits to work for in Oregon. I didn't make it to the award ceremony last night, but received the rankings this morning.

The organization with which I am associated, Oregon Children’s Theatre, ranked 26th in the “Small Company” category (with a score of 479.2). Woohoo! We're 26th!

Broadway Rose Theatre beat us at 21st place in the same group (score of 485.7); however, as a musical theater company it has the advantage of lots of happy singing and dancing to boost morale. Our friends at Portland Center Stage reached 30th place in the “Large” category (more than 75 employees) with a score of just under 411. I believe that means we kicked their asses, and I don't care who knows it. Oregon Shakespeare Festival brought up the rear in that category at 33rd place (score of 406.2).

Our other friends at the Regional Arts and Culture Council placed 9th in the “Medium” category (24-74 employees) with a respectable score of nearly 474. The table provided by OregonBusiness describes RACC’s purpose as providing “pre-natal to end-of-life social services to low-income people.” That sounds about right since they support artists.

The only other arts group in the rankings was Caldera, scoring 9th in the small category with score of 499.3 -- very well done.

Who ranked at the very top? Susan G. Komen for the Cure, OR/SWW Affiliate in the large category with a score of 520.7; Idealist.org in the middle group at 519.4; and, Oregon Rehabilitation carrying the small group (with a whopping score of 537.7).