More on Storm Large's Genitalia

Yesterday, just moments after being posted online, links to the just-released video of Storm Large singing 8 Miles Wide began to clutter my Twitter and Facebook feeds. For our out-of-town readers, 8 Miles Wide is the catchy tune from Crazy Enough, Storm's hit show at Portland Center Stage. As we say in the business, the show "has legs" -- it's been extended multiple times and is giving Portland's largest theater company some much welcome cash flow this summer. NOTE: The show will definitely be closing on August 16th. FURTHER NOTE: I have not yet seen the show.

The title of the song refers to the breadth of Ms. Large's nether region (metaphorically, we presume). My colleague excitedly posted the video on Culture Shock almost immediately after its release. This morning, the video went national with a mention on salon.com, which called it "the catchiest tune about giant lady parts that you will hear all day."

Couldn't we just leave it at that? No. Sorry.

Here's an excerpt from Mark Twain's classic book,Tom Sawyer, after replacing the word “cave” with “vagina.”

Every few steps other lofty and still narrower crevices branched from it on either hand -- for Storm Large’s vagina was but a vast labyrinth of crooked aisles that ran into each other and out again and led nowhere. It was said that one might wander days and nights together through its intricate tangle of rifts and chasms, and never find the end of the vagina; and that he might go down, and down, and still down, into the earth, and it was just the same -- labyrinth under labyrinth, and no end to any of them. No man 'knew' the vagina. That was an impossible thing. Most of the young men knew a portion of it, and it was not customary to venture much beyond this known portion. Tom Sawyer knew as much of the vagina as any one."


11 comments:

cynseattle said...

If I could edit your post, I would. I would add the tag "batshit crazy," in honor of both our culture shock tradition and your "unique" brain!

princess smartypants said...

You haven't seen the show yet? What?

Bob said...

Now you've got me thinking about Bruce Wayne and the Bat Cave ...

MightyToyCannon said...

Cyn: consider the edit "done."

Ms. Smartypants: Go figure.

Bob: Sometimes a cave is just a cave.

MightyToyCannon said...

Also, as for my "unique" brain, I was just trying to think outside the "box" on this one -- wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

David said...

Damn, maybe I'm getting old: I didn't find the song even mildly entertaining. It wasn't that I was offended--it just didn't do a thing for me. Your comment about a cave being just a cave is MUCH funnier.

On the bright side, now I can cross "Crazy Enough" off my to-do list. I'm glad for Ms. Large--wow, maybe that's the joke!--and for the theatre that her show is doing so well, but I'll save my money for a show with a funny song that's actually funny.

culturejock said...

David, I know what you mean. I can think of many times where I felt like the rest of the world was laughing at something that I just didn't think was funny. Out of context, "8 Miles Wide" sounds like it should be part of a nude revue, with other songs celebrating sexual anatomy, like "Please Don't Touch (My Tits)" from Young Frankenstein (The Musical) and "Angry Inch" from Hedwig. But as her own lyric says, Storm's vigantic size is really a metaphor for being larger than life in an industry where women are expected to be a little more petite and demure. It's also a parody that's set up perfectly in the show, and I'm sorry you're going to miss it. It really is very poignant, and not the gimmick this song would suggest; I recommend that you give a listen to the other songs on the album, at least once.

But really I do get where you're coming from. Storm Large is not for everyone, and many of my friends are NOT fans at all. Plus, her irreverent and abrasive personae in many public settings have ruffled more than a few feathers. But I'm a sucker for the conflicted and multifaceted talents. Key word being talent.

MightyToyCannon said...

I have received news that Ms. Large has read this post and "peed her pants." That's all we're trying for. "Busted a gut" would be accceptable. And, we'll be seeing the show in its final week.

culturejock said...

That's great, but with so much hype, I fear you are bound to be disappointed!

MightyToyCannon said...

CJ: Are you implying that my jadedness grows in response to hype? I guess you're right. I call it the Pink Martini Effect.

Laura said...

You realize the whole Tom Sawyer excerpt gives new meaning to Date Night. And to pick-up lines. "Would you like to see my etchings?" becomes "Would you like to see my cave paintings?"

And just imagine, if you will, the romantic notion of my husband reading your unique excerpt to me aloud while trying to restrain gut-busting laughs. Sometimes a cave is a lot more than a cave, something that goes down, down, down. I bet it's full of bat shit. I hear that makes good fertilizer.