Zuzu's Petals

Dear Loyal Readers,

I am grateful for the words of support and encouragement you shared in response to my recent post questioning the future of blogging and, more to the point, of continuing Culture Shock.

As I read your comments, it dawned on me that I had just played the oldest attention-grabbing ploy in the book, though that was not my plan. Here is a little skit --a parable of sorts--showing how it all went down.

ME [mascara streaking my face]: Waaah! I don’t know what I’m going to do. What’s the point anyway? You don’t really care anymore. You! Just! Don’t! Care!

YOU [acting concerned]: Don’t be a silly goose, we love you still. You’re great. We’ll always love you.

ME: You’re just saying that. You don’t really believe it.

YOU: No, really. We love you. You’re the tops.

ME: But what if you end up liking Twitter and Facebook better and stop paying attention to me?

YOU: Sure, Twitter and Facebook are cute and fun and … spontaneous … but you have … personality … and depth.

ME: Waaah! I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me and hope I just go away… I know I haven’t been there for you as much as I used to.

YOU: It's okay, frequency isn’t important. You know we’ll be here waiting … when you’re ready.

ME: I just don’t know. Sometimes I think you’d be better off without me. Sometimes I wonder whether I should just end it all. Then you would be really sorry.

CHESTER: Hello, Mighty Toy Cannon.

ME: Say … w-w-what’s going on here anyway? Who the heck are you?

CHESTER: Why, I’m Chester, your guardian angel, of course. I’ve been sent here to show you what the world would be like if there wasn’t a Culture Shock.

ME: W-w-wait just a gol’ darned second there. I’m not having any of that. I think I’m just going to throw a rock at the old Granville house ...[singing] ... by the light of the silvery moon.

CHESTER: What does that have to do with this scenario?

ME: W-well, I just don't know if the reader will get the subtlety of the shift in this narrative. Anyway, I-I just can’t face being cooped up for the rest of my life writing a blog after everybody else in this crazy wide world has gone on to other things. Gee whiz, w-what’s the point of that?

CHESTER [chuckling]: You might as well be asking what is the point of anything. C’mon. Let me show you around. You can help me earn my wings.

ME: I-I don’t know about that. Heck, how do I know you’re not some crazy old coot?

CHESTER: Look, over there. Can you see old man Gower tweeting on his iPhone as he crosses the street. He doesn’t see that bus bearing down on him. If only he’d stayed at work a little while longer reading one of those really long posts of yours.

[Sound FX of crashing]

ME: W-what do you know-- isn’t that Violet walking this way? What the heck happened to her face? She used to be such a looker.

CHESTER: Without Culture Shock to occupy her attention, Violet had to read other blogs. One time she got so bored she dozed off and broke her nose on the edge of her laptop.

ME: Yowza. That’s gotta hurt. Say, let’s go into that bank and tell Mr. Potter just what we think of him.

CHESTER [chuckling]: Oh, you just don’t understand do you? Mr. Potter isn’t the town banker anymore.

ME: W-well, why the heck not?

CHESTER: It’s really quite simple. Without the persuasive political commentary provided by Culture Shock during the last election, John McCain won by a landslide. As the GOP’s top fundraiser, Mr. Potter was rewarded with an ambassadorship to Luxembourg. Of course, all the banks collapsed anyway.

ME: Well, I’ll be darned. Isn’t that the bee’s knees. Did our blogging really make that much of a difference?

CHESTER: Honestly? No. But I’m trying to make a point here...

ME: You sure as heck made the point with me! You can bet I'm going to keep blogging just as much as I can. Zuzu's petals! Zuzu's petals!

[Sound FX of bells ringing]