Long Time No See.

Erstwhile friend and prolific blogger, Miss Laura of Art Scatter fame (that's not her in the picture), has chided and inveigled, nagged and cajoled about this site's lack of ...dismal record of...paucity of... that we haven't been posting anything lately.

"But blogging is so 2009!" I scream in response. "Twitter is the medium of the moment for cutting-edge provocateurs such as me. If it can't be said in 140 characters or less, you're saying too much."

But she's right. More than three months have passed without a peep out of me. So get off my back already. Here's something new:

November is National Novel Writing Month (popularly referred to as “NaNoWriMo”). If you’re so inclined, you can join thousands of other writers hellbent on cranking out at least 50,000 words over the span of thirty days. That works out to an average of 1,667 words per day...assuming you start on November 1st, which many diehards do at the stroke of midnight. If you procrastinate for the first ten days, you will have to average 2,500 words daily. So what's an extra 800+ words? On the other hand, if you wait until November 29th, you'll have to do 25,000 a day. Good luck with that.

Here’s what I’ve written so far:


Marlowe Teablick entered the bookstore with a purposeful stride. An electronic chime sounded and the clerk looked up at him. Marlowe walked to the counter without stopping to browse at the display tables. He was full of purpose.

“Can I help you find something?” the clerk asked.

“I’m looking for something to read. What do you suggest?”

“Fiction or non-fiction?”

“Fiction. I’m planning to write a novel and I need inspiration,” explained Marlowe.

“Jonathan Franzen’s new novel is quite popular. Oprah endorsed it.” The clerk handed him a copy. “This one is autographed.”

Marlowe read the back cover and flipped through the book quickly. “These chapters are too long,” he said, handing the book back to the clerk. “I like short chapters so I can reach a stopping place when I get sleepy.”

“I understand,” said the clerk. “Perhaps you would enjoy a thriller.”

“That sounds good,” Marlowe answered. “I liked that DaVinci Code book and how Dan Brown ended each chapter with a cliffhanger. It made me want to keep reading.”

“Then I think you’ll really like this!” shouted the clerk as he pulled out a gleaming, 9mm Glock 17 and pointed it at Marlowe's head.


Marlowe woke up in a bathtub full of ice...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I better get busy with the rest of it.


1) You will find me on Twitter: @mightytoycannon

2) The second photo isn't Miss Laura either.


Unknown said...

Actually, that second photo IS Miss Laura. With her knickers in a twist.

Miss Laura said...

Holy Mother of God. In regard to National Novel Writing Month, when I said "flog me with a keyboard," I didn't mean it literally.

cynseattle said...

I believe I'll be having nightmares for weeks to come.