Of Your Assistance I Implore

Dearest fellow,

I humbly seek your most urgent attention for a matter of most import. To my attention has come news that a musical group of note by which is known as “Bourbon Jockey” will be performing at your city at the soonest Thursday night from this date. It has been my dream of my lifetime to enjoy such musical pleasure in the city of Portland Orgon.

My late-uncle, who was most fortunate to be Minister of Foreign Culture in the nation of Nigeria before his recent death, wished me to have this absurd pleasure. Having wished that for me and to assure such would take place, he placed a sum of $3,000,000 million US dollars in a secret account. This sum to be used to travel me to listen to your Bourbon Jockey, of which I am biggest fan, on May 20, 2010 at Roots Organic Brewing Company.

Having demised unfortunately of an accident, my uncle failed to leave instructions regarding the sending of this money to my account for the purpose of hearing Bourbon Jockey. My remaining relatives which are of evil intention have made to block me from my due right to this sum. More so, I am locked in a closet and prevented from all person contact except by the internets.

Of favor to me and in interest of your enjoyment of fine music, I am implore you to visit the Bourbon Jockey performance on May 20, 2010. It is of my knowledge that Bourbon Jockey makes western music of roots variety for the enjoyment of the people and the drinking of the beer.

I ask of your assistance to please attend this most important event for to write to me describing its wonders after its completion. This way I will have enjoyment too. Also, it would be of true assistance to also send me your bank account number and all codes which are necessary for making it of access to me.

For learning more, one may read of the famous Bourbon Jockey in this writing of blog from many months ago.

Sincerely and with honest hope,

Mrs. Martha Kwesi Ubunde

WHO: BOURBON JOCKEY featuring Mighty Toy Cannon

WHEN: Thursday, May 20, 2010. From 8:00-ish to Whenever-ish

WHERE: Roots Organic Brewing Co., 1530 SE 7th, Portland OR

HOW: By the plucking of stringed instruments, vocalization and blowing of reeds.

WHY: Why not? You know you want to.

WHO, EXACTLY, IS BOURBON JOCKEY?

Ross McKeen (aka Mighty Toy Cannon): Vocal, Guitar, Harmonica
Matthew Jones (aka Mr. Jones): Bass
Alan Jones (aka The Perfesser): Guitar and harmony vocals
+ Mystery Guest Percussionist known only as Conga Dave

Be There or Be Square

Ladies & Gentlemen
Aficionados of Fine Music and Satisfying Beer
Members of the Press

Step forward and prepare to be dazzled, stunned and stupefied as The Mighty Toy Cannon and the members of the acclaimed musical ensemble, Bourbon Jockey, regale you with feats of vocal virtuosity and strumming of stringed instruments in a manner most astonishing. Step back, there's no need to push, shove or jostle--there will be plenty of room for all of you without raising a ruckus.

Should you choose to partake of a Bourbon Jockey performance, you will be transported on a journey down lost highways and dusty byways of America where you will meet truck drivers, libertine women and deadbeat desperados in the throes of drunken sorrow. Accompanied by the joyous amalgam of melody, harmony and rhythm, you will be besotted by tales of heartbreak and redemption, hope and despair. The bass notes will rumble deep in your bowels whilst the high notes shall pierce the veil of heaven and wrap you as if by the gossamer wings of the very angels themselves.

FEAR NOT brave spectator! The burden of sadness and introspection thus launched in your heart and mind may be soothed by quaffing ales concocted through the alchemical magic of the artisans of Roots Organic Brewing Company of Southeast Portland, Oregon and poured with the steady hand of attentive servers dedicated to ministering to your needs and lubricating your parched throat with AMBROSIA.

How much would you expect to pay for an evening of entertainment that lifts the soul while edifying in such a potent fashion? What price the opportunity to hear stirring tales of sin and transgression without suffering the searing heat of BRIMSTONE upon your own reddened cheeks?

Would you not gladly drop a treasury note adorned with the visage of Andrew Jackson into a collection plate for such a privilege? Would you not swoon upon being informed that the only cost of this extravaganza is the humble sacrifice of a token contribution--that is to say that the entry fee is just one thin dime? Two nickels are enough to swing aside the turnstile and afford you the opportunity to partake in the dulcet tones of this renowned ensemble of chamber players steeped in the vernacular of American roots music.

Would you not be further stunned to learn that this meager fee --one-tenth of an American dollar!--were to be fully and unconditionally rebated to you immediately, such that the true cost of this once-in-a-lifetime event is NOT A SINGLE PENNY (as long as you fully commit in your heart within the next ten minutes)?

Yes, you have not misheard us, ladies and gentlemen. But let us repeat this message for the weak-minded and slow of hearing: For the price of a small portion of your leisure and sporting time, you can experience one of the most FASCINATING and CURIOUS musical experiences of the year—indeed of your entire lifetime. Many years hence, your great-grandchildren will gather around your deathbed imploring you to sacrifice your FINAL breath to tell them about the night you heard Mighty Toy Cannon and Bourbon Jockey perform at Roots Organic Brewing Company in the early weeks of the year of Two Aught Ten. Can you fathom the ignomy of admitting to your progeny that you stayed home that evening to watch television?

Don’t take our word for it, heed the insights of others who have bathed in the euphonious river of glorious sound produced by this remarkable conspiracy of musical genius:

“I liked it. It was fun, I guess. The beer was real good. The band looked like they were having fun. I have to get up early tomorrow morning,” said one delighted spectator as he left the venue in the middle of Bourbon Jockey’s penultimate public performance last year.

“They seem to be having a good time up there,” reported another audience member as she plugged her ears, presumably to forestall an overload of joyous goodwill.

Another dumbstruck listener said, “I don’t know what to say. I guess I'll fall back on something my daddy always used to say, ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged.’ I mean, who am I to define what’s good? Look, I could tell you that it wasn’t horrible, but that’s really all I feel comfortable saying right now. Why are you writing this down? I liked the beer and the servers were nice. The band did seem to be having fun, and it’s not like I had anything better to do.”

One long-time fan proffers this advice: “Try to get there early in the set because the singer seems to forget the lyrics the later it gets. Unless you like a lot of humming, you might want to arrive before they’re all drunk, though there’s a better choice of seats after the first fifteen minutes.”

If you doubt the wisdom of your neighbors and common citizens, listen to what the experts have to say. Ethnomusicologist Humphrey Von Humphrey said this after listening to an acetate recording of Bourbon Jockey:

Their harmonies are wholly unique, not only within our traditional concepts of western music but, verily, to the entirety of world culture. Their choices of harmonic intervals – and their apparent ease in shifting those intervals at a microtonal level from moment-to-moment is astonishing. I can safely say that I’ve never heard anything quite like it. The jarring and unexpected microtonal dissonance carries into their instrumental work as well. I’m telling you that it is physically impossible to get that particular sound unless you intentionally fail to tune your instruments relative to each other. Of course, that would be crazy!

Another thing that intrigues me – perhaps 'baffles' is a better term-- is the band's artistic strategies with regard to shifting rhythmic patterns and its curious selection of tempo changes. As an ensemble, they display an uncanny knack for randomly speeding, then slowing the tempo– sometimes even within the traditional verse/chorus form. It’s simply remarkable that they all manage to end each song at approximately the same time—and here I’m talking about ending within at least two measures of each other. I’m reminded of the keening and wailing that accompanies the funeral rites of some tribal cultures, particularly the Oomaomao people who are, as a race, totally deaf.

In an unpublished review, a noted cultural critic declared, "It's as if T-Bone Walker and Hank Williams had a baby. And that baby was born with withered arms and something wrong with its soft palate and was raised by, gosh I don't know, Patsy Cline. And maybe it has a hugely swollen tongue or something. Oh, and the baby is drunk too. Forget the baby analogy ... it's more like if Howling Wolf and George Jones were arm wrestling while Fats Domino and Fats Waller argued over which one of the two was fatter. Never mind. There's just a lot going on during a Bourbon Jockey concert and these are grown men who should know better."

Important Details:

Bourbon Jockey
Thursday, January 7, 2009

--starting at 8:00 pm going until they tire--
Roots Organic Brewing Company

1530 SE 7th Avenue, Portland Oregon
No Admission Fee, Cover Charge or other Consideration

Free Membership in the Bourbon Dynasty

(the exclusive Fan Club of Bourbon Jockey)

Recommended Dress: Classy Dungarees/Tube Tops

Bourbon Jockey is:

Ross McKeen (aka The Mighty Toy Cannon): Singin’, guitar slingin’ and harmonica blowin'.
Alan Cole (aka The Perfesser): Six string fireworks and harmony yelpin'.
Matthew Jones (aka Matthew): Upright bass thumpin' and gravitas.

Hooves of Fury

On Sunday afternoon, my wife, father-in-law and I cantered over to the Rose Garden Arena to watch the “World Famous” LIPIZZANER STALLIONS. (Please note that the official, branded name of the company is exactly that: The “World Famous” LIPIZZANER STALLIONS).

The company tours nationally and internationally and has reportedly been seen by some 27 million people since 1970. The tour stop before Portland was McMinnville; the next eight stops are Yakima, Pendleton, Okanogon, Ellensberg, Spokane, Moses Lake, and Walla Walla. At the end of July they’ll be performing in Wasila, Alaska. We’ll see how it plays in Peoria when the show arrives there in mid-September. You get the picture? This is one heavy-duty touring show. To survive under such touring conditions, you would have to be strong as a … well… as a horse.

One of the benefits of working in the nonprofit arts world is the occasional complimentary ticket thrown your way. Sometimes you're offered a comp as a friendly gesture, sometimes they're given to curry favor, and often someone just wants to fill empty seats (“paper the house”) so the paying guests won’t be alarmed by finding themselves sitting alone in an empty venue.

My wife grew up with horses. Her family still have a brace of them kicking around the farm, so I figured she might enjoy the show. We offered the extra ticket to her father, who was happy to tag along and do the driving. As for me, I considered the show to be market research. I’m always curious about how our for-profit cultural competitors manage to grab a respectable share of the family entertainment dollar. Entertainment extravaganzas attract a sizeable audience to places like the Rose Garden and Memorial Coliseum. Shows such as Disney on Ice, the Ice Capades, and Kings of Death Metal on Ice are popular and, I presume, lucrative.

While my tickets were free, here’s what a family of four might have spent for the two hour show we enjoyed:

Tickets for 2 Adults = $80.00 ($32.50 + $7.50 fee each)
Tickets for 2 Kids = $76.00 ($30.50 + $7.50 fee)
Delivery Fees = $4.50 (with $2 extra for Will Call)
Order Charge = $4.75
Parking = $10.00
Souvenir Program = $12.00 (sorry kids, you’ll have to share)
Souvenir T-shirt for the boy = $25.00
Souvenir hoodie for the girl = $35.00
Souvenir throw blanket for Grandma = $75.00*
4 burger basket meals = $38.00
2 sodas in souvenir cups = $15.00
1 Red Bull for Mom = $6.00
4 Widmers for Dad = $32.00
3 frozen yogurt waffle cones = $16.50 (Dad will just have another beer)
1 cream cheese stuffed pretzel for Grandma = $5.00*

TOTAL $436.75

* Presumes Grandma is waiting in the car during the show.

Perhaps it was that potential price tag that left most of the seats in the Rose Garden empty. The north quarter of the arena was closed to create a backstage for the ponies, and the 300 level (nose bleed seats) was shut down. I’m bad at estimating numbers, but my rough guess is that the place was maybe one-third full ---2,000-3,000 people at most. That’s a full house in the Keller Auditorium. Not too shabby, except that I’ll bet the promoters took a big loss on that show.

Heavily represented in the audience were: (1) Little girls who love ponies; (2) People with walkers; and, (3) Sailors in town for Fleet Week. (I’m kidding about the sailors). The crowd was not what I would call diverse. Now that I think about it, there are probably more African Americans on the Rose Garden court at one time during a Blazer’s game than there were watching The “World Famous” LIPAZZANER STALLIONS.

What about the show? Despite my studied attempt to appear jaded and cynical, I tell you the show was fun--both entertaining and educational. The emcee, Troy Tinker (seriously), introduced the horses and riders while presenting the Lipizzaner's long history and explaining the various maneuvers as they were performed. The first half of the show was essentially a demonstration of dressage techniques. In one section titled, “Airs Above the Ground,” techniques honed in battle were demonstrated--techniques such as the “Capriole” in which the stallion leaps into the air, draws his forelegs under his chest, and kicks out violently with his hind legs. Then there’s the “Courbette” which requires the horse to rear up, then hop on its rear legs. This move is known to leave the enemy slack-jawed and dumfounded. Here’s the Courbette in action:



I don’t know how I would have felt had I paid for the tickets, but we had a good time watching some remarkable performers--human and equine. I can think of only six things that would have made the “World Famous” LIPIZZANER STALLIONS show better:

1) Add a unicorn or two.
2) Put on a jousting match in the second act.
3) Invite celebrity stallions to compete.
4) Add the word “X-TREME” to the name.
5) Harlem Globetrotters vs. Lipizzaner Stallions.
6) Narrator: Charles Bukowski.

Photo: Not a real Lipizzaner Stallion, this is one of Portland's famous sidewalk ponies tethered to a horse ring in my neighborhood.

Drammy Awards

Another season of theater in Portland is wrapping up and the annual Drammy Awards are upon us. The Drammy Awards party is an amalgam of celebration and seething resentments, lubricated by drink. I’ll be on vacation next week, so don’t expect me to be there.

In previous posts, I stuck my neck out with a few predictions and/or recommendations, though this list is far from complete and is not based on careful consideration of the competition.

Best Costumes: Sarah Gagahan, "James & The Giant Peach"
Best Ensemble: "Biloxi Blues"
Courage in Full Frontal: Tim True, "Dead Funny"
Actor: Bill Christ (“Frost Nixon”)
Actress: Sharonlee McLean (“The Receptionist”)
Direction: Rose Riordan (“The Receptionist”)
Choreography: Amy Palomino (“Fabuloso”)
Sets: "How to Disappear and Never be Found"/"Frost/Nixon"

Who do you think deserves recognition for "Outstanding Achievement" this year?

Here’s the official announcement:

WHAT: 30th Anniversary Drammy Awards
WHERE: Crystal Ballroom
1332 W. Burnside St.
Portland, OR
WHEN: Monday, June 8
6:00 PM Social hour and slide presentation
7:00 PM Awards presentation
COST: FREE ADMISSION, no-host bar and pizza
DRESS: Theatrical, elegant, innovative. Costumes are encouraged.

Welcome to the biggest all-theatre cast party’s 30th anniversary celebration. Mark your calendars and spread the word. Last year’s ceremony, featuring theatrical exuberance and flamboyant décor, drew well over 600 attendees. So plan to attend this year, because even if you don’t come with a group, there are sure to be people you know to sit and chat with.

The Masters of Ceremonies this year will be Portland favorites, actor/director Philip Cuomo and actress Maureen Porter. Expect a fun, joke-filled evening. The ceremony includes a slide show retrospective of the 2008-2009 theatre season. This year, in honor of the 30th year of the awards, we will be honoring 30 “unsung heroes” of the theatre scene, who have been suggested by area theatres.

PATA will present their “Spotlight Awards” in the main ballroom during the Drammy ceremony this year. The Spotlight Awards honor the important individuals who work behind the scenes to create great theatre. These awards are nominated and voted on by the theatre community.

The ceremony is free and open to the public, young and old.

The Drammy awards, a program of the Portland Civic Theatre Guild, are organized by the all-volunteer Drammy Committee, a group of theater artists and administrators, journalists and academics who review well over 100 productions in a season that ends May 24. In order to be considered for a 2009 Drammy Award, a production must be locally produced and has to have run at least eight performances (not including previews) by May 24. Because the awards are presented for “outstanding achievement” rather than “best of”, there is no list of nominees and from 0 to 4 awards may be presented in each category in any given year. Award categories are flexible in order to reflect the work presented in any given year.

24/7: 24 Concerts in One Day to Mark Seven Years of War

For a few moments, let's step away from the savaging of the Oregon Cultural Trust and the gloom of the coming budget battles. I just learned of an event which is as timely as it is important. The following is from the organizer's press release:

By mid-March, the United States will have been at war in Afghanistan and Iraq for seven years, yet one hardly hears that fact mentioned. To mark this important, if tragic, anniversary, over 150 of the Portland area's best classical musicians are uniting to make a giant musical gift to the city and region. Event curators Bill Crane and Thomas Lauderdale have recruited an amazing roster of performers. The public is invited.

Titled simply "24/7," it will be a series of 24 dramatic concerts, each starting upon the hour, from 7:00 p.m. Saturday, March 21, and continuing through to 7:00 p.m., Sunday, March 22.

All 24 concerts are free and will take place in the auditorium of the Wieden+Kennedy building, 224 Northwest 13th Avenue, between Davis and Everett Streets, in Portland's Pearl District. Wieden+Kennedy join the performing artists to invite sincerely all area residents of good will to these concerts. No tickets are required.

Neither a protest nor a memorial, "24/7" nonetheless is a profound calling by its performers to their fellow citizens to remember that we are a nation at war. The musicians creating 24/7 hope to move their neighbors by their music to "do what must be done" as our city, region, and nation face many challenges. This will be music of encouragement as well as entertainment.

To add to the conviviality of this big occasion, the popular and award-winning restaurant Bluehour, next door to the concert venue, will be open all night and the following day. Restaurateur Bruce Carey and chef de cuisine Kenny Giambalvo are planning a special bar menu just for 24/7 performers and audience members.

"It will be an honor to have these music lovers join us for refreshments before, after, or between the concerts. We are having so much fun planning a menu to go with that much music!," said says Bruce Carey as he considered what it will mean for his restaurant team.

And, what of the planned music itself? --

"I am heartened, thrilled, and humbled by the unparalleled enthusiasm of my musical colleagues to create this musical gift. What a 'Portland' thing to do! Everyone is working so hard and being so creative in their programming. Every program that our audience friends attends will be great" said Bill Crane as he headed off to yet another rehearsal.

Some of the 24/7 performances will be broadcast on Wieden+Kennedy’s new Global Internet radio station, WK Radio, at www.wk.com/radio. The radio station launched in January 2009 and exists to inspire provocative conversations, interviews, and artistic expressions relating to the arts, culture, music and media.

Final scheduling is still somewhat in the works and will be posted in www.wk.com/radio when confirmed, but here are highlights that have been nailed down:

Saturday, March 21

The first program (Sat., 3/21, 7:00 p.m. sharp) A huge ensemble of brass and percussion players opens with Aaron Copland's famous "Fanfare for the Common Man" and continues with music of Gabrieli, Richard Strauss, and others.

Second up (Sat., 3/21, 8:00 p.m.) is the astonishing 17-year year-old virtuoso pianist Rosa Li, most recently heard in Portland in Mendelssohn's First Concerto with the Portland Columbia Symphony Orchestra. Her solo program will include works of Ginastera, Prokofiev, and Chopin.

At 9:00 p.m., the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, Bob Mensel, music director, will take the stage to present the critically acclaimed extended work "BraveSouls and Dreamers" of composer Robert Seeley.

Other highlights include three hours of particularly adventuresome programming by area new-music ensembles playing in succession:

11:00 p.m., Fear No Music

12:00 midnight, Melegari Chamber Music Ensemble

1:00 a.m., Third Angle New Music Ensemble

Programs in the middle of the night will range from wild to mild:

3:00 a.m., . Thomas Lauderdale of "Pink Martini" in a special, extravagant program;

6:00 a.m., Pianist Ron Potts in an exceptional recital of Scarlatti, Schumann, Ravel, and Bartok.

7:00 a.m., Obo Addy, world beat drummer, in a solo frenzy and Gregory Dubay, cellist, and Bill Crane, pianist, in music of Brahms and Schubert.

And, as the day (Sunday) goes on:

8:00 a.m., Tamara Still, pianist, with Bach's "Goldberg Variations."

11:00 a.m., Pianist Jeffrey Payne of Fear No Music with ten movements from Olivier Messiaen's monumental "Vingt Regards sur l'Enfant Jésus."

12:00 noon, Vancouver tenor Les Green in a recital of French art song, including little- known works of Saint-Saëns and Fauré.

1:00 p.m., Soprano Lisa Mooyman and Mezzo-soprano Sherry Olson with Clarinetist David Hattner in a varied program, including the famous "Lakme" duet and Schubert's "Shepherd on the Rock."

4:00 p.m., Alto Angela Niederloh, pianist Janet Coleman, and violinist Julie Coleman in a wide-ranging program best described as "rip-roaring."

5:00 p.m., Violinist Carol Sindell and pianist Janet Guggenheim (two-thirds of The Florestan Trio) in a recital to include both the Franck and Debussy sonatas.

6:00 p.m. All 24/7 artists and other invited musicians will join in the final program to present the last movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, the "Ode to Joy." David Hattner, the new music director of the Portland Youth Philharmonic, will conduct the assembled forces, including many singers from the Portland Symphonic Choir and instrumentalists from the Oregon Symphony and other ensembles.

Still shaking out just "who will be when" are these splendid acts to be scheduled:

Portland Taiko, thunderous Japanese drumming;
Cellists Justin Kagan, Adriene Welch, Irving Levin, Gregory Dubay, and Lizzie Adelsheim
Flutist Abby Mages
Violinists Paloma Griffin, Sara Watts, Ron Blessinger, Greg Ewer, Julie Coleman, and Nick Crosa
Sopranos Ida Rae Cahana, Lisa Mooyman, Peggie Schwarz, and Marie Fiorillo
Trombonists John Walling and Robert Taylor
Pianists Carol Rich, Jon Stuber, Jeffrey Payne, Chad Heltzel, Susan Chan, Mike and Elizabeth Strickland, Janet Coleman, Jerry Deckelbaum, Win Hall, and Thomas Mark

I'll post schedule updates as the event approaches.

The Artful Ticket Dodger, Rose City style

Earlier this week, the Guardian newspaper in London ran a piece by a man who decided to cram as much of London’s cultural offerings into his life as he could, for one week, but limited his budget to only £50. Cool, I thought. I know London pretty well so thought it would be fun to track his week and see where he went and what he saw. When I realized that £50 also had to cover transportation and food and drink consumed while on his cultural junket, it got interesting. London is outrageously expensive!

The link to the article is here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/jul/29/classicalmusicandopera.museums

But of course, once I finished reading this (and was exhausted just thinking about how many miles of pavement pounding he did to avoid the tube fares!), I of course thought about how you could do this in Portland. The equivalent amount of money in US currency is $100; but I don’t think you’d need that much to have a great week in Portland culture! I think $50 would be a great test.

I just think about the past 10 days I spent in Portland without even consciously trying to make it a cultural junket experiment. I attended 4 free play readings; three were part of the JAW Festival at PCS, where I happen to work, but the readings were FREE to all and everyone. Of the three workshops I attended at JAW, one was a preview of Storm Large’s autobiographical piece Crazy Enough, slated for full production next spring. And hey, people lined up around the block to get in, and it was a free performance by one of Portland’s hottest singer/actors. And the fourth was a fascinating new adaptation of Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens presented at Artists Rep by the Upon these Boards company. It featured 17 amazing actors (and was practically a family reunion of people who worked at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in the 1980s and 1990s), and was a resonant and relevant reworking of one of the Bard’s least known plays.

In addition, I enjoyed two happy hour evenings (one at Fenouil, one at the Deluxe Hotel) where cocktails and some delicious happy hour snacks didn’t break my bank, and would have come in well under the experimental budget.

Then there was the free Music on Main concert offered by the Portland Center for the Performing Arts which, admittedly, I just strolled by, pausing briefly to enjoy the music. But if I HAD been on a culture experiment…well, you get the picture. I could have also attended a performance of the free Shakespeare in the Parks production of Two Gentlemen of Verona which just got a pretty nice review in the Oregonian; and with our abundance of public art, picking up a public art map guide and taking a walk around the city (much more compact than London, and much less traffic!) to view it would save even more dollars for…another happy hour.

Now, I happen to think culture is worth spending my money on, but I also love to think that the option is abundantly present to enjoy Portland's cultural offerings even when the wallet is feeling a little bit thin...

Ain’t art grand?