National Day of Wha?!

As Thanksgiving approaches, Oregon Public Broadcasting has been promoting National Day of Listening – an initiative to “honor and celebrate one another’s lives through listening.”

The organization, StoryCorps, is encouraging folks to start a new holiday tradition by devoting one hour on Friday, November 28th, to “record a conversation with someone important to you.” Seems like a good replacement for shopping, now that the money is all gone.

This morning, before the coffee was ready, my dear wife asked if I would like for her to interview me on Friday. I’m bright enough to spot when she’s handing me a straight line, so I responded with, “How about if we celebrate National Day of Shut the F*ck Up!?,” thus demonstrating a knack for using a fleeting expletive as punctuation while being rewarded with a chuckle from the misanthropic part of her funny bone.

Here are some other suggestions that come to mind if you’re going to pull out the tape recorder on Friday:

National Day of Is This Thing On? Testing. Testing.

National Day of Don’t You Have Any New Stories?

National Day of … Excuse me, were you saying something?

National Day of Who Has the Remote?

National Day of De Niro: You Talkin’ to Me?

National Day of Celebrating the Cliché Like There’s No Tomorrow

National Day of Calling a Spade a Spade.

National Day of you did not just say what I thought you said, did you?

National Talk like a Somali Pirate Day. Example:

Captain: Now that we have captured the Ukrainian ship, what’s in the hold?

First Mate: Tanks.

Captain: You’re welcome, but what’s in the hold?

First Mate: Tanks. A lot.

Captain: Your gratitude is appreciated, but I want to know what is our plunder?

First Mate: The ship is full of Russian armored vehicles, damn it!

Captain: Don’t speak to me with such impertinence! I though it was crude.

First Mate: Sorry captain, the ship is carrying tanks, not crude.