Storm vs. Princess Leia

The personal memoir has had a fantastic decade, with bestsellers by such authors as Dave Eggers and David Sedaris, as well as Augusten Burroughs ("Running with Scissors") and Jeannette Walls ("The Glass Castle"). But the theater, too, has always been prime for confession, and right now in the Pacific Northwest two women hold the stages at two of the region's largest theaters. Carrie Fisher is at Seattle Repertory Theatre performing her one woman show Wishful Drinking, a hit with audiences everywhere it plays. And here in Portland, Storm Large is captivating, and rocking, audiences with Crazy Enough at Portland Center Stage, a "one woman with bitchin' band" show.

With the usual healthy rivalry between Portland and Seattle in mind, the ever witty and clever Trisha Pancio (who is publicist for PCS) responded to a challenge about comparing the two shows for savvy theatergoers. Caveat: Trisha has only read about Ms. Fisher's show, so we're sure there are more opportunities for her to score some meaningful points.

But for now, here's a scorecard:

Carrie vs. Storm, a breakdown

Carrie: Codeine
Storm: Heroin
Point goes to: Storm

Effed- up parents
Carrie’s dad: smoked pot
Storm’s mom: repeatedly attempted suicide
Point goes to: Storm

Musician relationships
Carrie married: Paul Simon
Storm lives with: Davey Nipples from Everclear
Point goes to: Carrie (I mean c’mon! Paul SIMON?)

Weird props
Carrie: Princess Leia buns
Storm: dildos shrunken by her ridiculously large man hands
Point goes to: Storm

Claim to fame
Carrie: OMG the bestest scifi film of all time
Storm: Reality TV
Point goes to: Carrie

Audience interaction
Carrie: “Learn How to Have Sex with a concrete statue of myself”
Storm: “Hey boys! Learn to sing about your 8 mile wide vagina!”
Point goes to: Lets call this one a tie

Carrie: One liners and Hollywood insider zingers
Storm: Gut wrenching ballads and anthems about her vagina
Point goes to: STORM.

addendum: a Good Friday conversation about this scorecard that included two of Culture Shock's contributors prompted one more face off point.

Fan base
Carrie: StormTroopers (strange men dressed in those crazy white tin costumes)
Storm: Storm's troopers (including strange young men, but no tin)
Point goes to: damn. Carrie.


culturejock said...

Hey, I resemble that remark! But not all of Storm's Troopers are young, nor strange. Well, not THAT strange.

culturejock said...

And BTW, we want Storm to marry Davey so her name can be Storm Large Nipples.

Stephen said...

funny post...
Carrie has a interesting blog on her website:

culturejock said...

Strolling through the site tracking logs today I see that somebody landed on this page after entering "princess leia vagina" into google. Priceless.